Instead, direct stimulation is the number one way women orgasm.”Ĭhances are, you’re well versed on all things clitoris-related and know both light touching and applying more pressure to this sensitive spot can result in orgasm. “They worry about what they taste or smell like. “More women are more self-conscious when they have someone in between their legs,” Dr. Carlen says it’s easy to forget that women don’t always come this way. But so much attention has been put on oral sex that Dr. Look, we’re not saying to stop your partner when they want to go down on you because cunnilingus can be one of the most pleasurable experiences on the planet.
How many times have we been told the number one way for women to achieve orgasm is by getting oral sex? But that’s not necessarily so. The amount of natural lubricant a woman produces is not indicative of her level of arousal as everything from stress to dehydration to medications can affect the body’s ability to get wet.” Direct stimulation “Water-based lubes like Sliquid Organics are great for toys while silicone-based lubes like the one by Pjur are better for intercourse, oral sex and fingering. “I highly recommend all women have a high-quality lubricant,” Scalisi said. Kait Scalisi, a sexual and reproductive health educator, writer and consultant, is also a huge fan of toys like the We-Vibe Touch, as well as G-Spot toy Je Joue Uma and arousal oils like ON Arousal Oil, which she says brings blood flow to the vaginal area and makes it easier to become aroused and achieve orgasm.
Marin suggests trying a couples’ toy like the We-Vibe or, if you prefer going at it alone, the Eva by DAME products, which is an actual hands-free vibrator that stimulates the clitoris with zero effort - yay for that! Sex toys have come a long way since your mother’s dildo (sorry, not a sexy image). Carlen suggests restraining your passions and enforcing a no touching rule for as long as possible - which will only make things hotter. And though you may be tempted to let them jump in and finish the job, Dr. Whether you choose to discuss in advance the fact that you’re about to give your partner the thrill of their life or surprise them by letting them come home and “catch” you rubbing yourself on the Jennifer Convertible sofa, is entirely up to you. Carlen says.Īnd the number one way she suggests increasing your sexual confidence and taking control over your orgasms is by partaking in a naughty bit of adult show-and-tell and masturbating in front of one another. “You’re supposed to own your orgasm,” Dr. Carlen Costa, a sexologist and relationship expert from Canada, and change your attitude first. Instead of treating your partner like a machine whose job it is to give you an orgasm, heed the advice of Dr. Here are some of our favorites to get you started. Work on finding adventurous positions and activities that stimulate the clit, and you’ll be opened up to a whole new world of possibilities.
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Particularly for people with vulvas, “the most valuable thing you can do is find ways to bring more clitoral stimulation into your sex life,” says sex therapist Vanessa Marin, who is actually launching an online training program to teach women how to orgasm (bless her heart). But, ultimately, that’s not the most important thing when it comes to having a healthy sexual relationship with your partner. In fact, let’s be real: There’s a huge number of us out there who can’t even reach an orgasm from penetration alone, not to mention the fact that there are also a ton of us who have partners who weren’t born with the desire or equipment to have a heteronormative p enetrative sexual encounter.